Zoë Scholtz

There are certain words that apparently cause immediate concern at our factory. “I have an idea.” I discovered this again one Friday morning when I phoned a colleague about five minutes before arriving. “I have an idea.” There was a small pause. “Oh no. What now?” Poor man. The idea, for once, was actually quite simple. Put Tanky on the factory floor. Tanky is my white Tank 300, and she wears parts our team makes. We were having a special morning. The team had worked incredibly hard, the factory looked magnificent, and we had a chance to stop for a moment and recognise the people behind what we are building. Tanky had other plans for her appearance. Earlier in the week, the Gauteng cold front and rain had made sure she looked considerably more like she’d just come back from an adventure than a corporate display vehicle. Fortunately, the factory is essentially her second home these days. The guys gave her a quick wash to remove the worst of the evidence, and onto the factory floor she w...

(Or: How Ordering T-Shirts Became a Marathon) Somewhere in January 2026 , "iemand" in the office said the dangerous words: “We should enter the J.P. Morgan Corporate Challenge .” And just like that, the #ICPCLAN was signed up. Race entry — tick. Now anyone who has ever participated in anything remotely corporate knows that the real event is not the run itself. The real event is the T-shirts . Because if you're going to run 5.6 km with colleagues, it might as well be done in coordinated cotton . Phase 1: The Optimism Stage Naturally, I jumped into action and put together a concept design for the shirts. The last batch we ordered for the #ICPCLAN looked fantastic — but apparently some members of the clan felt the fit was… how shall we say… aspirational . A little snug. A little optimistic. Possibly designed for Olympic athletes rather than normal humans. So this time, armed with my concept design and a determination to avoid the “painted-on Lycra” look, I ...